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"Forever Lost at Sea:
Ryujin Rising" |
“You are way out of your depth.”
A fisherman with a shocking appearance (who thought he was “Forever Lost at Sea”) is found stranded, but alive, after floating three days in the frigid waters of the North Pacific. A journalist is looking for a big story that’ll land him on the front page of the Brighton Register. A young woman is in search of adventure, but she doesn’t know it yet – that is until all three individuals cross paths to track down a sea monster of mythic scale. [Insert a quip about needing a bigger boat.]
A fisherman with a shocking appearance (who thought he was “Forever Lost at Sea”) is found stranded, but alive, after floating three days in the frigid waters of the North Pacific. A journalist is looking for a big story that’ll land him on the front page of the Brighton Register. A young woman is in search of adventure, but she doesn’t know it yet – that is until all three individuals cross paths to track down a sea monster of mythic scale. [Insert a quip about needing a bigger boat.]
Readability
“Forever Lost at Sea: Ryujin Rising” is the first co-authored novel that I’ve written an editorial for. I have to say, it’s also the first indie novel I’ve read in a while that has a reasonably coherent plot; so maybe two heads are better than one in that regard. I will say that there are still some issues with the plot, but for the most part they’re small and kind of silly overall; nevertheless I believe a couple of them are worth taking to task.
All the storylines for the main characters get developed throughout the course of the novel. Even when I thought the authors forgot about certain little details, they surprised me by the end and made sure all unanswered questions alluded to at the beginning were given attention. The only characters I was left wondering about was Captain Hugh Jenkinson and his first mate, Joseph Hunley, both of whom were introduced in chapter one after Hideo was rescued. They’re never mentioned again in the novel, so they probably didn’t need to be named and made out to be such a big deal when they could have just remained generic characters that served one purpose. That whole introductory scene was drawn out probably much longer than it needed to be.
Overall the pacing was okay, even though some creative liberties were clearly taken to rush along the plot. I’m referring to Hideo’s “special” connection to the creature, but for what it’s worth it served to keep the action moving which is the selling point of the genre.
I liked that the two main characters are introduced and the plot is set in motion by the end of chapter one. This should be considered standard practice, but unfortunately that hasn’t been my experience with several indie novels. I am not one to mark a book as “DNF” (Did Not Finish) and then review/rate my experience with it, so it is refreshing whenever I come across novels that show me that the authors at least had a clue as to what they’re doing, just based on chapter one alone. It makes my job as a critic much easier when I feel secure in the author’s ability to tell me a story. It enables me as the reader to relax and just focus on analyzing the narrative without having to nit-pick a bunch of basic shit that every novelist should know before their work is even published.
I don’t usually, but I may have to start reading the sample pages of novels before I purchase them, because the gold standard for basic story structure seems to be in dire straits right now, but I digress.
Creativity
The story takes place in a geographical location that allows for a diverse group of characters without it feeling forced. In this case the North Pacific is an attraction for mariners from Russia, America, and Japan. Hideo’s character is Japanese, but is referred to as a “Chinaman” during a scene that takes place at the fisherman’s dive bar called the “Albatross”, where Charles (the journalist) is interviewing a local for a story about some beached whales. I believe that was an intentional moment of ignorance, because it was established that nobody made an effort to speak to Hideo mostly because of his physical affliction.
Hideo is described as having alabaster white skin that seemed almost translucent to the point where his blue veins were made visible all over his body. He looked that way ever since he was rescued from the frigid waters of the North Pacific, after spending three days afloat. That immediately caught criticism for not making physical sense, because there is no way anyone survives in that situation, but to the authors’ credit that specific point is acknowledged several times before it finally gets addressed later on in the novel, when Hideo meets a Russian character with the same affliction.
The big reveal of Hideo’s “condition” seems kind of random and I really wish there was an explanation as to how or why it happened in the first place. I think it would have made more sense if the special “condition” had been the result of an adverse reaction to the creature’s venom, enzymes in its saliva, or inhalation of toxic fumes from its breath, etc. The whole “chosen one” trope seems not only contrived, but arbitrarily so in this novel. What made Hideo stand out among the rest of his crew who were indiscriminately slaughtered?
Delivery
Given his special “condition”, Hideo’s character is actually quite the inconsiderate little prick, and I don’t understand how Charles and Bess didn’t pick up on that after the big revelation. It was obvious that Hideo wasn’t concerned about their safety whatsoever. In fact, Hideo was never even worried about his own safety, which was made abundantly clear when he finally admits to the journalist (who Hideo knew was only financing his monster-hunting expedition for the sake of returning home with big news):
“To be honest, Charles, I never thought we would make it this far. I don’t have a plan. Nothing set in stone. Without Bess… and you… I would not have made it this far.”
Leave it to the Jap to deceive people into joining him on a Kamikaze mission.
I was not surprised when the main trio was rescued from the glacial-rock island by the Okhotnik and crew, but what did surprise me was how Bess was completely fine with Hideo stealing her father’s ship (the Beaumont). Bess is the love interest subplot who is also the badass strong female character who is willfully ignorant… *checks notes… for the sake of “adventure”? She betrays her own father in favor of a couple strangers that she barely knows. The way she jumps into battle and risks her own life to fight the monster seems disproportionate to Hideo during the first encounter. She is fearless to the point of rushing headlong into melee combat with a titanic creature, armed with nothing but a harpoon.
For all intents and purposes “the serpent” is a semi-aquatic drake. Not a male duck, but basically imagine a four-legged dragon with no wings. Wikipedia tells me that “Ryujin” means “Dragon God”. In the novel, this thing has the power to swim extremely fast and can breach its entire body out of the water, but apparently Bess can slide across the deck of the Beaumont on her knees and dodge the creature’s talons with finesse. Maybe the monster only moves fast in the water. Hideo witnessed the “long bony teeth that protruded from its gaping jaws as it ripped through the timber and steel” of the whaling ship he was on before he became stranded at sea. His whaling ship was split in two thanks to the monster, but apparently the Beaumont (a smaller fishing vessel?) can withstand two separate attacks by the creature and sustains only minor damage. Probably should have either left that part out or came up with another reason why Hideo was stranded in the first place. Maybe his crew could have high-tailed out of there when they came in contact with the monster, and those who fell overboard during the initial attack were just left for dead (due to fear?). The inconsistency of the creature’s power makes it more difficult to suspend disbelief. It removes the veil and reveals the plot armor. Especially when Hideo’s previous crew were killed off no problem while he was spared (due to being a pseudo chosen one), but that same logic is later contradicted when the monster spares Charles and Bess, and Hideo sweeps it under the rug by saying that the monster probably just wants him.
I also had to scratch my head after I realized that the entire grand finale took place inside a cave, at night, with no light source whatsoever.
“Forever Lost at Sea: Ryujin Rising” is the first co-authored novel that I’ve written an editorial for. I have to say, it’s also the first indie novel I’ve read in a while that has a reasonably coherent plot; so maybe two heads are better than one in that regard. I will say that there are still some issues with the plot, but for the most part they’re small and kind of silly overall; nevertheless I believe a couple of them are worth taking to task.
All the storylines for the main characters get developed throughout the course of the novel. Even when I thought the authors forgot about certain little details, they surprised me by the end and made sure all unanswered questions alluded to at the beginning were given attention. The only characters I was left wondering about was Captain Hugh Jenkinson and his first mate, Joseph Hunley, both of whom were introduced in chapter one after Hideo was rescued. They’re never mentioned again in the novel, so they probably didn’t need to be named and made out to be such a big deal when they could have just remained generic characters that served one purpose. That whole introductory scene was drawn out probably much longer than it needed to be.
Overall the pacing was okay, even though some creative liberties were clearly taken to rush along the plot. I’m referring to Hideo’s “special” connection to the creature, but for what it’s worth it served to keep the action moving which is the selling point of the genre.
I liked that the two main characters are introduced and the plot is set in motion by the end of chapter one. This should be considered standard practice, but unfortunately that hasn’t been my experience with several indie novels. I am not one to mark a book as “DNF” (Did Not Finish) and then review/rate my experience with it, so it is refreshing whenever I come across novels that show me that the authors at least had a clue as to what they’re doing, just based on chapter one alone. It makes my job as a critic much easier when I feel secure in the author’s ability to tell me a story. It enables me as the reader to relax and just focus on analyzing the narrative without having to nit-pick a bunch of basic shit that every novelist should know before their work is even published.
I don’t usually, but I may have to start reading the sample pages of novels before I purchase them, because the gold standard for basic story structure seems to be in dire straits right now, but I digress.
Creativity
The story takes place in a geographical location that allows for a diverse group of characters without it feeling forced. In this case the North Pacific is an attraction for mariners from Russia, America, and Japan. Hideo’s character is Japanese, but is referred to as a “Chinaman” during a scene that takes place at the fisherman’s dive bar called the “Albatross”, where Charles (the journalist) is interviewing a local for a story about some beached whales. I believe that was an intentional moment of ignorance, because it was established that nobody made an effort to speak to Hideo mostly because of his physical affliction.
Hideo is described as having alabaster white skin that seemed almost translucent to the point where his blue veins were made visible all over his body. He looked that way ever since he was rescued from the frigid waters of the North Pacific, after spending three days afloat. That immediately caught criticism for not making physical sense, because there is no way anyone survives in that situation, but to the authors’ credit that specific point is acknowledged several times before it finally gets addressed later on in the novel, when Hideo meets a Russian character with the same affliction.
The big reveal of Hideo’s “condition” seems kind of random and I really wish there was an explanation as to how or why it happened in the first place. I think it would have made more sense if the special “condition” had been the result of an adverse reaction to the creature’s venom, enzymes in its saliva, or inhalation of toxic fumes from its breath, etc. The whole “chosen one” trope seems not only contrived, but arbitrarily so in this novel. What made Hideo stand out among the rest of his crew who were indiscriminately slaughtered?
Delivery
Given his special “condition”, Hideo’s character is actually quite the inconsiderate little prick, and I don’t understand how Charles and Bess didn’t pick up on that after the big revelation. It was obvious that Hideo wasn’t concerned about their safety whatsoever. In fact, Hideo was never even worried about his own safety, which was made abundantly clear when he finally admits to the journalist (who Hideo knew was only financing his monster-hunting expedition for the sake of returning home with big news):
“To be honest, Charles, I never thought we would make it this far. I don’t have a plan. Nothing set in stone. Without Bess… and you… I would not have made it this far.”
Leave it to the Jap to deceive people into joining him on a Kamikaze mission.
I was not surprised when the main trio was rescued from the glacial-rock island by the Okhotnik and crew, but what did surprise me was how Bess was completely fine with Hideo stealing her father’s ship (the Beaumont). Bess is the love interest subplot who is also the badass strong female character who is willfully ignorant… *checks notes… for the sake of “adventure”? She betrays her own father in favor of a couple strangers that she barely knows. The way she jumps into battle and risks her own life to fight the monster seems disproportionate to Hideo during the first encounter. She is fearless to the point of rushing headlong into melee combat with a titanic creature, armed with nothing but a harpoon.
For all intents and purposes “the serpent” is a semi-aquatic drake. Not a male duck, but basically imagine a four-legged dragon with no wings. Wikipedia tells me that “Ryujin” means “Dragon God”. In the novel, this thing has the power to swim extremely fast and can breach its entire body out of the water, but apparently Bess can slide across the deck of the Beaumont on her knees and dodge the creature’s talons with finesse. Maybe the monster only moves fast in the water. Hideo witnessed the “long bony teeth that protruded from its gaping jaws as it ripped through the timber and steel” of the whaling ship he was on before he became stranded at sea. His whaling ship was split in two thanks to the monster, but apparently the Beaumont (a smaller fishing vessel?) can withstand two separate attacks by the creature and sustains only minor damage. Probably should have either left that part out or came up with another reason why Hideo was stranded in the first place. Maybe his crew could have high-tailed out of there when they came in contact with the monster, and those who fell overboard during the initial attack were just left for dead (due to fear?). The inconsistency of the creature’s power makes it more difficult to suspend disbelief. It removes the veil and reveals the plot armor. Especially when Hideo’s previous crew were killed off no problem while he was spared (due to being a pseudo chosen one), but that same logic is later contradicted when the monster spares Charles and Bess, and Hideo sweeps it under the rug by saying that the monster probably just wants him.
I also had to scratch my head after I realized that the entire grand finale took place inside a cave, at night, with no light source whatsoever.
#LFLR Indie Rating: 5.5/10
“Forever Lost at Sea: Ryujin Rising” is one of many deep sea thrillers published by Severed Press – an award-winning independent label focused on science fiction, horror, and creature features. Anghus Houvouras has several other published novels, but he is also known for his screenplays and indie filmography (which includes “Dead Heist” starring Big Daddy Kane, E-40, and Bone Crusher).
“Forever Lost at Sea: Ryujin Rising” is one of many deep sea thrillers published by Severed Press – an award-winning independent label focused on science fiction, horror, and creature features. Anghus Houvouras has several other published novels, but he is also known for his screenplays and indie filmography (which includes “Dead Heist” starring Big Daddy Kane, E-40, and Bone Crusher).
THIS BREAKDOWN IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE #LFLR NETWORK.
