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“Evil Man"
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“(Insert Contextual Quote Here)”
Step inside the mind of an “Evil Man”, and follow in his footsteps, as he obsesses over women to the brink of a psychotic break. Benjamin Anderson is a janitor of a veterinary hospital, and he has never had much luck with the ladies. Almost ready to give up on love, Benny meets a friendly bartender by the name of Aingeal. Her kindness to an otherwise invisible man reawakens his primal instincts, and Benny goes on the hunt to capture the hearts of unsuspecting victims to do god knows what with them.
Step inside the mind of an “Evil Man”, and follow in his footsteps, as he obsesses over women to the brink of a psychotic break. Benjamin Anderson is a janitor of a veterinary hospital, and he has never had much luck with the ladies. Almost ready to give up on love, Benny meets a friendly bartender by the name of Aingeal. Her kindness to an otherwise invisible man reawakens his primal instincts, and Benny goes on the hunt to capture the hearts of unsuspecting victims to do god knows what with them.
Readability
There is an interesting note from the author before the story that almost sets the tone before we even get into the meat and potatoes. The story maintains a good pace from beginning to end. “Evil Man” opens up with some exposition on Benjamin’s backstory and introduces his obsession, and then the first person narrative is broken into the “days” that follow. Needless to say it doesn’t take long for the plot to develop, but the author does manage to squeeze quite a bit of juice out of the short story format, which made for an easy forty five minute or so read. The writing could have used another round of proofreading, but for the most part I was able to read between the lines whenever I came across errors. I will note that the publisher did not include a working toc for ease of access. For short fiction I would say that it isn’t as annoying to manually flip back and forth through the story page by page, as it is with a novel, but if publishers plan on releasing their work on Kindle then I suggest using Kindle Create and save readers/reviewers the headache (first world problems, I know).
Creativity
I think Brearley makes some interesting creative decisions with the first person perspective of “Evil Man”. At one part in the story the main character is engaged in dialogue with an unsuspecting victim and the author uses a creative technique to show the reader how Benjamin thinks instead of telling the reader what Benjamin thinks. In the scene, Benny is at a bar and he strikes up conversation with a woman and the author shows the reader how Benny works his way through a fabrication:
Weaving my story, I say somewhat sad, “I work at a nursing home. (Dramatic pause.) One of the men on my floor passed away this morning holding my hand. (Another pause.) He has been sick for a while, and with no family to decide on his care, we had to pull the plug. I wanted to hook him up to the machines, give him more of a chance, but the doctors (pause) they refused. I did not want him to go out alone, you know?”
For me it wasn’t so much what the character was saying that sent a chill down my spine, as much as it was the fact that I could see how the character was internally cuing his actions on the fly while he was talking. That was the first time I’ve seen any writer use that technique in dialogue, and I thought it was a subtle but very effective way of illustrating dissociative behavior.
That’s the best example of character building throughout this entire story that is centered on characterization. I know “Evil Man” is about a psychopath, but that doesn’t mean every aspect of the story had to be flat, lifeless, and one dimensional. I mean there is a part in the story, after Benny has his psychotic break, where he is slicing a lemon and the juice gets into a paper cut on his hand, which prompts him to run to a notepad so he can jot down “acid in cuts” (as a reminder for his next torture session). I couldn’t help but laugh. I may be going out on a limb here, but think it’s safe to say that it’s the simple things in life that kept Benjamin’s character amused. I can only imagine what other methods of torment Benny had been scribbling upon napkins, post-it notes, and scrap paper:
- Jam the victim’s pinky toe on the corner of objects
- Flush toilet while they’re in the shower
- Apply a purple-nurple until they either cry or climax
Delivery
Every chapter (or “day”) opens with a quote from some famous piece of work or person. The author references “Of Mice and Men”, “Around the World in Eighty Days”, and Abraham Lincoln – just to name a few. Now although I really don’t have an issue with authors referencing famous works or people in their work, I think the way it was done in this short story is lacking tact. The quotes only serve to set up each chapter in a superficial sense. I don’t think Lincoln was trying to encourage aspiring serial killers when he said, “I will prepare, and some day my chance will come.”
Benny’s character is an absolute dullard, and his story is not interesting. I feel like “Evil Man” is a total strawman story. What I mean by that is that the story only seems to reinforce the notion that Aingeal (don’t like that spelling btw) is a victim, and that’s it. Benny is head-over-heels (insta-love style) for Aingeal, because she reminds him of a past relationship. He is described as a janitor who is basically invisible to the world, and Aingeal’s kindness is what incites his psychotic break. Benny’s character does not attempt to kidnap her right away however, because Benny concludes that he must get practice in first. So the story follows Benny as he stalks different women around town, shows him interacting with them, how he subdues them, and then implies what he does with them. The story doesn’t get graphic with its imagery, but it is a little repetitive with Benny’s methods. There isn’t much conflict throughout the story, in terms of Benny almost getting caught in the act or anything like that which would have added some tension (since the whole story is from a villain’s point of view). Like I said, it’s obvious that this story was written after “The Dark Angel Trilogy”, because Benny is a total strawman character, and there is no message aside from the idea that there are psychos amongst us that obsess over bartenders who smile (even though bartenders are paid to do so). However, if nothing more, “Evil Man” does deliver upon what the title suggests.
There is an interesting note from the author before the story that almost sets the tone before we even get into the meat and potatoes. The story maintains a good pace from beginning to end. “Evil Man” opens up with some exposition on Benjamin’s backstory and introduces his obsession, and then the first person narrative is broken into the “days” that follow. Needless to say it doesn’t take long for the plot to develop, but the author does manage to squeeze quite a bit of juice out of the short story format, which made for an easy forty five minute or so read. The writing could have used another round of proofreading, but for the most part I was able to read between the lines whenever I came across errors. I will note that the publisher did not include a working toc for ease of access. For short fiction I would say that it isn’t as annoying to manually flip back and forth through the story page by page, as it is with a novel, but if publishers plan on releasing their work on Kindle then I suggest using Kindle Create and save readers/reviewers the headache (first world problems, I know).
Creativity
I think Brearley makes some interesting creative decisions with the first person perspective of “Evil Man”. At one part in the story the main character is engaged in dialogue with an unsuspecting victim and the author uses a creative technique to show the reader how Benjamin thinks instead of telling the reader what Benjamin thinks. In the scene, Benny is at a bar and he strikes up conversation with a woman and the author shows the reader how Benny works his way through a fabrication:
Weaving my story, I say somewhat sad, “I work at a nursing home. (Dramatic pause.) One of the men on my floor passed away this morning holding my hand. (Another pause.) He has been sick for a while, and with no family to decide on his care, we had to pull the plug. I wanted to hook him up to the machines, give him more of a chance, but the doctors (pause) they refused. I did not want him to go out alone, you know?”
For me it wasn’t so much what the character was saying that sent a chill down my spine, as much as it was the fact that I could see how the character was internally cuing his actions on the fly while he was talking. That was the first time I’ve seen any writer use that technique in dialogue, and I thought it was a subtle but very effective way of illustrating dissociative behavior.
That’s the best example of character building throughout this entire story that is centered on characterization. I know “Evil Man” is about a psychopath, but that doesn’t mean every aspect of the story had to be flat, lifeless, and one dimensional. I mean there is a part in the story, after Benny has his psychotic break, where he is slicing a lemon and the juice gets into a paper cut on his hand, which prompts him to run to a notepad so he can jot down “acid in cuts” (as a reminder for his next torture session). I couldn’t help but laugh. I may be going out on a limb here, but think it’s safe to say that it’s the simple things in life that kept Benjamin’s character amused. I can only imagine what other methods of torment Benny had been scribbling upon napkins, post-it notes, and scrap paper:
- Jam the victim’s pinky toe on the corner of objects
- Flush toilet while they’re in the shower
- Apply a purple-nurple until they either cry or climax
Delivery
Every chapter (or “day”) opens with a quote from some famous piece of work or person. The author references “Of Mice and Men”, “Around the World in Eighty Days”, and Abraham Lincoln – just to name a few. Now although I really don’t have an issue with authors referencing famous works or people in their work, I think the way it was done in this short story is lacking tact. The quotes only serve to set up each chapter in a superficial sense. I don’t think Lincoln was trying to encourage aspiring serial killers when he said, “I will prepare, and some day my chance will come.”
Benny’s character is an absolute dullard, and his story is not interesting. I feel like “Evil Man” is a total strawman story. What I mean by that is that the story only seems to reinforce the notion that Aingeal (don’t like that spelling btw) is a victim, and that’s it. Benny is head-over-heels (insta-love style) for Aingeal, because she reminds him of a past relationship. He is described as a janitor who is basically invisible to the world, and Aingeal’s kindness is what incites his psychotic break. Benny’s character does not attempt to kidnap her right away however, because Benny concludes that he must get practice in first. So the story follows Benny as he stalks different women around town, shows him interacting with them, how he subdues them, and then implies what he does with them. The story doesn’t get graphic with its imagery, but it is a little repetitive with Benny’s methods. There isn’t much conflict throughout the story, in terms of Benny almost getting caught in the act or anything like that which would have added some tension (since the whole story is from a villain’s point of view). Like I said, it’s obvious that this story was written after “The Dark Angel Trilogy”, because Benny is a total strawman character, and there is no message aside from the idea that there are psychos amongst us that obsess over bartenders who smile (even though bartenders are paid to do so). However, if nothing more, “Evil Man” does deliver upon what the title suggests.
#LFLR Indie Rating: 4/10
I think the story could have been more enticing towards the series if Brearley included some juxtaposition within the narrative (for example: adding a detective character that had to deal with the aftermath of Benny’s handy work), but in terms of serving as a sample of Brearley’s writing style, I thought it was okay overall. “Evil Man” is a short story prequel to “The Dark Angel Trilogy” and Pixie Brearley has also written several other works that seem to revolve around themes of psychological trauma, existential angst, and revenge.
I think the story could have been more enticing towards the series if Brearley included some juxtaposition within the narrative (for example: adding a detective character that had to deal with the aftermath of Benny’s handy work), but in terms of serving as a sample of Brearley’s writing style, I thought it was okay overall. “Evil Man” is a short story prequel to “The Dark Angel Trilogy” and Pixie Brearley has also written several other works that seem to revolve around themes of psychological trauma, existential angst, and revenge.
THIS BREAKDOWN IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE #LFLR NETWORK.
