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"Quiet Places"
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“Would she turn out any better than her mother?”
The isolated town of Dunballan harbors many secrets. There, Sally moves into a small cottage with her boyfriend David, who inherited the estate under the stipulation that he must reside there. The townsfolk of Dunballan behave strangely, Sally begins hearing an otherworldly voice from the hedgerow, and a strange beast from the “Quiet Places” of the forest starts haunting her boyfriend. When Jane, the town librarian, reaches out to Sally with a pamphlet containing local folklore, Sally discovers that there is more to Dunballan than meets the eye.
The isolated town of Dunballan harbors many secrets. There, Sally moves into a small cottage with her boyfriend David, who inherited the estate under the stipulation that he must reside there. The townsfolk of Dunballan behave strangely, Sally begins hearing an otherworldly voice from the hedgerow, and a strange beast from the “Quiet Places” of the forest starts haunting her boyfriend. When Jane, the town librarian, reaches out to Sally with a pamphlet containing local folklore, Sally discovers that there is more to Dunballan than meets the eye.
Readability
There is nothing inherently wrong with the writing of this story, per se. The story is well structured and keeps up a decent pace. The only thing I can point out in context of how the narrative is presented, which may turn some readers off, is that it uses sophisticated terminology and is often overwritten. I usually don’t mind when writers want to make use of five dollar words and flowery language, because that’s one way readers can expand their vocabulary, but keep in mind that it also interrupts the experience every time someone has to pull away from the book and crack a dictionary just to understand what they’re reading. For instance there was a small but distracting interaction early in the story between the main character and the town butcher, where he “modified his brogue, because Sally was an off-comer”. I wanted to know what that meant, but looking up the word “brogue” only left me confused, as it essentially means dress shoes (a butcher in dress shoes?). Upon further research I found out, that in the Highlands (where the story takes place), the word “brogue” is used as a slang to describe an Irish accent. Well that’s a fun fact, I thought, now I can get back to reading the story. That is going to happen on more than one occasion if you want to fully grasp what is going on in this story. Again, this doesn’t take away from the readability per se - it’s just going to depend on each individual reader’s level of dedication towards comprehending the material, unless of course you’re already familiar with the subject matter. Ironically, there are many lines that are overwritten, almost as if the author does not trust the reader to understand what is being conveyed. For instance, “Sally flushed in spite of herself, hating the way her cheeks burned as she paid for the meat.” That line could have simply been, “Sally flushed in spite of herself as she paid for the (butcher’s) meat.” This also happens often throughout the story where something will happen, but then will immediately be explained to you as to what it meant. This doesn’t take away from the narrative itself, but it comes down to the individual’s opinion as to whether or not it will affect their reading experience.
Creativity
Bark plays with timeline structure to generate intrigue and suspense. In the prologue, the reader is immediately presented with an awe inspiring but nightmarish scene in which all the residents of Dunballan have lost the faculties of their minds, except for Sally. She frantically tries to care for them out of an unexplained sense of guilt, as they all slowly but surely wilt away. The narrative then jumps back and forth along a timeline that leads up to that “present” point, with each subsequent chapter acting as an individual piece of a much larger puzzle for the reader to put together. The story is a third person perspective from Sally’s point of view, however much of what takes place throughout the story is filtered through the character which caused me to take a step back from the story and experience it more often than not as more of a spectator than a participant. Sally heard this. Sally felt that. It’s all about Sally. Sometimes the filtering is excessive and really sucks the life out of a scene, as it reminds you this story is supposed to be Sally’s experience and not yours. It would have been nice to experience somethings in this story for myself without having to know what Sally thought or felt about it. It’s like having a one way “conversation” with someone who is doing all the talking, and you’re sitting there thinking to yourself “if I left right now, would they even realize I was gone?” Sometimes the writing offers little consideration in regard to what the reader may be thinking. The surrealism in this story is incorporated in a very believable way that I found to be the most engaging aspect of this story aside from figuring out which details mattered and which ones were meant to throw me off track.
Delivery
At first it was frustrating to I realize that I was about to be teased and toyed with for several chapters before things were actually going to start coming together, but “Quiet Places” offers the reader some fun surprises along the way. There is a lot for the reader to unpack throughout this story. The folklore surrounding David’s ancestral curse, as well as the history behind the McCavendish clan in relation to the town of Dunballan, kept me second guessing the motivations of characters until the end. Sally wasn’t much of a character as much as she was a plot device and a hindrance to my reading experience. Her motivations were unbelievable, because unless David was giving her that good dick – I don’t know a woman in the world that would be willing to put up with the kind of “relationship” she had with that man, but luckily the story went deeper than that. I really liked the part where Sally found Matthew McCavendish’s journals. The added layer of surrealism gave me something more interesting to focus on and consider while I was finishing up the story, and I think wrapped the ending up with an interesting spiritual twist, which gave Sally’s backstory a little bit more relevance.
There is nothing inherently wrong with the writing of this story, per se. The story is well structured and keeps up a decent pace. The only thing I can point out in context of how the narrative is presented, which may turn some readers off, is that it uses sophisticated terminology and is often overwritten. I usually don’t mind when writers want to make use of five dollar words and flowery language, because that’s one way readers can expand their vocabulary, but keep in mind that it also interrupts the experience every time someone has to pull away from the book and crack a dictionary just to understand what they’re reading. For instance there was a small but distracting interaction early in the story between the main character and the town butcher, where he “modified his brogue, because Sally was an off-comer”. I wanted to know what that meant, but looking up the word “brogue” only left me confused, as it essentially means dress shoes (a butcher in dress shoes?). Upon further research I found out, that in the Highlands (where the story takes place), the word “brogue” is used as a slang to describe an Irish accent. Well that’s a fun fact, I thought, now I can get back to reading the story. That is going to happen on more than one occasion if you want to fully grasp what is going on in this story. Again, this doesn’t take away from the readability per se - it’s just going to depend on each individual reader’s level of dedication towards comprehending the material, unless of course you’re already familiar with the subject matter. Ironically, there are many lines that are overwritten, almost as if the author does not trust the reader to understand what is being conveyed. For instance, “Sally flushed in spite of herself, hating the way her cheeks burned as she paid for the meat.” That line could have simply been, “Sally flushed in spite of herself as she paid for the (butcher’s) meat.” This also happens often throughout the story where something will happen, but then will immediately be explained to you as to what it meant. This doesn’t take away from the narrative itself, but it comes down to the individual’s opinion as to whether or not it will affect their reading experience.
Creativity
Bark plays with timeline structure to generate intrigue and suspense. In the prologue, the reader is immediately presented with an awe inspiring but nightmarish scene in which all the residents of Dunballan have lost the faculties of their minds, except for Sally. She frantically tries to care for them out of an unexplained sense of guilt, as they all slowly but surely wilt away. The narrative then jumps back and forth along a timeline that leads up to that “present” point, with each subsequent chapter acting as an individual piece of a much larger puzzle for the reader to put together. The story is a third person perspective from Sally’s point of view, however much of what takes place throughout the story is filtered through the character which caused me to take a step back from the story and experience it more often than not as more of a spectator than a participant. Sally heard this. Sally felt that. It’s all about Sally. Sometimes the filtering is excessive and really sucks the life out of a scene, as it reminds you this story is supposed to be Sally’s experience and not yours. It would have been nice to experience somethings in this story for myself without having to know what Sally thought or felt about it. It’s like having a one way “conversation” with someone who is doing all the talking, and you’re sitting there thinking to yourself “if I left right now, would they even realize I was gone?” Sometimes the writing offers little consideration in regard to what the reader may be thinking. The surrealism in this story is incorporated in a very believable way that I found to be the most engaging aspect of this story aside from figuring out which details mattered and which ones were meant to throw me off track.
Delivery
At first it was frustrating to I realize that I was about to be teased and toyed with for several chapters before things were actually going to start coming together, but “Quiet Places” offers the reader some fun surprises along the way. There is a lot for the reader to unpack throughout this story. The folklore surrounding David’s ancestral curse, as well as the history behind the McCavendish clan in relation to the town of Dunballan, kept me second guessing the motivations of characters until the end. Sally wasn’t much of a character as much as she was a plot device and a hindrance to my reading experience. Her motivations were unbelievable, because unless David was giving her that good dick – I don’t know a woman in the world that would be willing to put up with the kind of “relationship” she had with that man, but luckily the story went deeper than that. I really liked the part where Sally found Matthew McCavendish’s journals. The added layer of surrealism gave me something more interesting to focus on and consider while I was finishing up the story, and I think wrapped the ending up with an interesting spiritual twist, which gave Sally’s backstory a little bit more relevance.
#LFLR Indie Rating: 7/10
The mysteries that lie in “Quiet Places” dive deep into the rabbit hole, and the novella is dense with subject matter that deals with the occult, folklore, magick, secret societies, cosmic realms, spiritual entities, and how unseen forces/powers can have lasting effects on the psychological state of individuals. This type of stuff is right up my alley, albeit comes off a bit pretentious on how it’s presented in this story, but nevertheless I thought the novella was enjoyable overall. I think Jasper Bark has crafted a tale that’s not only imaginative, but one that will challenge the reader to think deeper and inspire them to research new ideas/customs. In that respect, I recommend this novella despite its shortcomings, because I think its content more than makes up for the minor gripes that I had with the writing style. Jasper Bark has written and released several other works of fiction with Crystal Lake Publishing.
The mysteries that lie in “Quiet Places” dive deep into the rabbit hole, and the novella is dense with subject matter that deals with the occult, folklore, magick, secret societies, cosmic realms, spiritual entities, and how unseen forces/powers can have lasting effects on the psychological state of individuals. This type of stuff is right up my alley, albeit comes off a bit pretentious on how it’s presented in this story, but nevertheless I thought the novella was enjoyable overall. I think Jasper Bark has crafted a tale that’s not only imaginative, but one that will challenge the reader to think deeper and inspire them to research new ideas/customs. In that respect, I recommend this novella despite its shortcomings, because I think its content more than makes up for the minor gripes that I had with the writing style. Jasper Bark has written and released several other works of fiction with Crystal Lake Publishing.
THIS BREAKDOWN IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE #LFLR NETWORK.
